This week marks nine years of marriage for Dustin and I. That’s right, our nine year anniversary. Getting married at nineteen makes those anniversaries get close to the double digits before you know it! Nine years has brought a lot of change, growth, good memories, and of course the normal difficulties that come with doing life beside your best friend day in and day out. We’ve finished college, moved back to Ohio, bought a house, found jobs, had two adorable girls, moved to Africa, fostered another sweet girl and so much more in the in between moments of daily life.
The day to day moments seem to be the time where we learn the most. Those are the moments where we dig in deep and choose love and patience in our home. Where we work to always be honest with one another and apologize when we know we’ve made a mistake. Trust me, I make a lot of mistakes. But in nine years of marriage, I think I’ve gained a little wisdom along the way as well.
- Keep God number one- You can’t have a strong marriage if you are trying to put your spouse or something else above God. It is important that you both turn to God together and look to Him to lead and guide you. It can be all too easy to place your faith and trust in the person you love and who is physically right there beside you, but in putting God number one you place your marriage and your spouse in His hands and let Him take the lead.
- Keep communicating honestly and openly-This is something we feel has always been a strong point in our marriage and helps us avoid a lot of unwanted and unnecessary strife. It’s important to let each other know how you are feeling. Of course it’s also important to do this in a respectful and loving way! If you keep the doors of communication open instead of holding everything in side, it won’t unexpectedly come out all at once over something not even that important! Communication is key!
- Make time for each other-Once kids come into the picture this one can be hard. Even if you are together in your home in the evening, are you actually spending time with each other? Or are you each doing your own thing trying to get things done while the kids are in bed? Of course you need time to yourself and time to get things done, but it’s also important to set aside time for each other. Time to connect, talk, plan and dream. Just talking together can inspire things you both want to work on or achieve in your marriage and your family.
- Encourage and support each other-It means a lot to have your spouse encourage you and support you. To have your best friend in your corner can help give you a greater confidence and allow you to step out of your comfort zone.
- Parent as a united front-Having kiddos definitely adds a whole new element, or several elements, to marriage! It’s important that you are both on the same page when it comes to parenting, for your kid’s sake, and for your marriage’s sake. Make sure you talk about things ahead of time and stick together when it comes to parenting, especially on issues surrounding discipline and boundaries.
So as we approach our nine year anniversary, these are a few grains of wisdom I’ve gathered over the years. Our marriage isn’t perfect, but we know that if we continue to pursue God’s heart and will, we can lovingly pursue each other and strengthening our marriage year by year.
Every Monday, Keri, and I host a link party specifically for moms to share encouraging posts. We would love for you to link up your posts on motherhood below and connect with some other mamas. Join us with #mamasharesmonday as we share our moments of motherhood.