If you’ve been reading this blog with any sort of regularity, you probably already know that this little space is where I work out the things swirling around in my head. Getting the words out and making them real and tangible often helps me realize things with new clarity or allows me to meditate and organize snippets of thoughts that have flashed through my brain.
So here we go again. Let’s get a peek at what’s been swirling around in this mama’s head.
My thoughts have been coming back a lot to loving well and blessing others. My word that I chose to focus on this year is BLESS. If you want to read more about it, you can check out the post here.
But I’m going to let you all in on a secret: Writing down the words is not enough. Having the best intentions to love well and bless others just isn’t enough. I think the key to actually loving well and blessing others, is simply going for it! Correct me if I’m wrong…but I’m pretty sure I’m right!
I’m not even saying it has to be some big extravagant gesture, but the key is to do it! Pray for the person you’ve been intending to pray for, write a friend, or have someone new over.
Friends, sometimes I’m afraid I’m all intentions. I really want to love well and bless, but sometimes I’m just way too comfortable in my introvert bubble. And then there’s working around nap times and feeding the family, not to mention Instagram and Facebook, and let’s not forget Fixer Upper! #kindofinlovewithChipandJoJo
And then there’s this pull to balance loving my family well and loving my neighbors well. Right now I really want to devote a lot of time to the girls. Spending time with them, being at home with them and loving them well is where I want to be and what I want to be doing. I fall short daily and am incredibly thankful for God’s grace, but at home is where I feel comfortable.
When it comes to loving my neighbors well, I’m not as comfortable. But I’m in Africa for goodness sake, so shouldn’t I be DOING MORE? And this is where that uncomfortable pull between family and neighbors and intentions and doing comes into play.
If I don’t attend the widow’s group or decide not to go to Smile Africa like I planned (though I have no real obligation or formal responsibility to go), I feel guilty. Am I using my gifts? Am I shining His light? I was going to go, but then I napped with the girls instead, or decided to stay home on a day when sass and attitude ran high, maybe we were just having a really good day, or potty training was somehow seeming to get the best of us.
And right now I just don’t have the answers. I’m in process and I’m working it out. I’m working on following His will with a joyful and willing heart. I’m working on using my gifts and talents the way He wants them to be used. I’m working out following His path even if it’s uncomfortable, because there may be a lot of beauty waiting for me down the road. I’m working on the balance of loving my family well and loving my neighbors well. Of blessing those around me daily and letting my light shine in whatever way He intends.
And even though I don’t have the answers, I know Jesus does. And I know that I’m not working things out a lone. I know that whenever I feel guilty or like I’ve fallen short, He’s working on me. Wherever I feel uncomfortable, or shy, He’s working on me. Wherever I’m trying to find balance and love others well, He’s working on me.
And if I can remember that through each moment of each day and through each apparent triumph and failure He is working on me and walking with me, then maybe it’s not so much of a struggle, but more of a journey.